Well well. I have spent the last ten minutes or so transfixed by pictures of unicorns. Only because I couldn’t find the photos of the rainbow I took from the Harbour Bridge this afternoon from a moving taxi. Stupid phone camera. I think there might have been one good photo in there too – the great syringe of Sky Tower momentarily radiant with rainbow light. I saw at least three rainbows today. It only occurred to me to photograph the third. Although I shouldn’t have bothered, as it turned out. Anyway, this is by far the best unicorn I have seen tonight.

Maybe it’s actually impossible to capture a rainbow on film. Like singling Bigfoot out for a mugshot or catching a mirage in a bucket or… I know it’s actually not impossible but at the time it did feel like a pretty elusive and unoutsmartable thing to be attempting to apprehend.

Solitary non-leisure travel is a funny thing. I like it, so long as I don’t have to be upright or civil in the red-eye hours. I won’t do that for anyone. (Unless, like this morning, they’re two years old and they sneak into my room and blindside me with their bamboozling cuteness before I am awake enough to understand what I have blearily agreed to.)   

It’s weird and kind of nice being alone for such long stretches of time. Unless it’s bumpy upon landing and I have no one’s hand to hold. That always feels a bit strange. It’s also weird finding something stupidly funny and having no outlet for it outside my own head. No one to validate the thing’s funniness. Which might mean that it’s not funny at all.

Like yesterday at the Auckland baggage carousel there was a taxi man waiting with his little blackboard thingy. He was waiting to pick up someone called A CHIU. Not particularly funny to most, maybe, but it felt like a bit of a missed opportunity to me, all on my own. And, what’s more, laughing uproariously all on your own = crazy.

Some things I will never learn, no matter how much I travel. Like: to cut down on items of hand luggage so as not to get tangled up in them with no sympathetic person beside me to share the burden of my overpacking habit. And to remember to keep a pen on my person at all times.

I don’t know what, exactly, I was planning to do on the flight home tonight. But I accidentally boarded the plane with no pen on my person, and began to get a quite antsy about it. The thing that’s ridiculous though was that even if I had had a pen on my person, all I would have done was sit there and watch hopefully as the drinks trolley advanced slowly down the aisle towards me. Or maybe eavesdrop a little. Or sleep. And it’s not like I was going to write anything of note on a 50-minute flight with about 5cm elbow room on either side of me. Maybe it’s a security blanket thing. Maybe it goes some way to explaining why I have such a giant personal collection of writing instruments.

 Today I thought a bit about how I really quite like Auckland. After all this time, I actually do. I pretty much spent most of my years as a minor there. Now I mostly just pass through. Yesterday the taxi stopped at the Ranfurly Road traffic lights and I looked in at the dairy where we used to sneak away from boarding school to buy 10-packs of cigarettes, back in the day when there was such a thing as 10-packs of cigarettes. Now it’s just strange snatches of memory, usually triggered from the backseat of a moving car, in transit between here and there.

In between meetings this morning I sat editing a Very Serious Document at a cafe down by the water. I thought back to younger me in the Auckland days. I wondered what younger me would have thought of older me. Older me, sitting with a fucked back with too many bags around me. Trying to stare at the words in front of me instead of the sunshowers out on the water. Checking the time. Checking emails without really even reading them. Mentally preparing for the day of glass-walled meetings ahead. Letting my tea go cold.  


2 Responses to “tadaima!”

  1. 1 Ati

    May I use your unicorn photo in a crazy quilt blok?
    The size will be small, about 3 inch square.
    Thank you in advance.

    • 2 katy77

      Hi there Ati

      I’m not even sure where I got this picture from to be honest!

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