no evil star
Or maybe I should call this My Secret Internet Life, but I’ll get to that later. If I can get rid of my dead leg and hold the most utmostest concentration, that is. Ow.
I typed that about 10 minutes ago and then lost complete concentration. As I am wont to do. But in my dithering I did (re) find this:
… I think of you like a young tree
with pasted-on leaves and know you’ll root
and the real green thing will come
which is from this.
And I also found some other stuff. Plus I remembered the sleep game I played last night with myself at about 2 in the morning.
It went something like this (and I think you’ll see the pattern forming if you squint at the sequence very closely and cross your fingers and toes all at once):
Alvar Aalto, Basil Brush, Coco Chanel, Danny de Vito, ee cummings, Fred Flintstone, Greta Garbo, Harry Houdini, … , James Joyce, Ku Klux Clan, Lucy Liu, Marilyn Monroe, … , … , Peter Piper, … , Robert Redford, Sissy Spacek……
Okay and I’m bored with that now. It didn’t actually help me get to sleep, anyway, because I kept getting stuck. And when I got stuck I got agitated. And I also sort of overheated (in that cloying itchy-wool way you get when your mother tries to pull a tight jumper down hard over your head and it won’t go and you see stars and your skin flashes and prickles… and really you were warm enough already without the jumper).
I have a frustrating head. Sometimes I don’t know what to do about it. But night time head is the worst. Night time head can be a bad, bad thing to be lugging around (and so firmly attached) in the dark.
Today I noticed the daphne in my garden for the first time. I walked into town and saw girls with bare legs. It just seemed so audacious and wanton. And strangely summery. Bare legs! I cancelled appointments and felt good about it. I wore jeans to work and felt a bit scrappy.
This evening I accidentally discovered a blog I had set up and completely forgotten about, called NO EVIL STAR. I was trying to bluff forgotten passwords and hack my way into another blog (not this one). I thought I’d finally cracked the pesky code, set about my business, only to discover I was in an entirely alien blog (but also one of my own making, apparently, which was vaguely worrying to me but also perfectly harmless).
I still haven’t worked out the code to the blog I really need the code for. But I think I might do some resuscitation work on NO EVIL STAR anyway. God knows why and what rambling paths I will take it down. But why not.
(And what we have here, with NO EVIL STAR, by the way, is not an enterprising digital spirit creating yet another floaty ego in the digisphere. Oh, well, it might be a bit of that, minus the enterprising. But really it’s just old fashioned procrastination wearing very modern clothes. And on that note, back to some shit about symmetrical communication or something. Bye.)
Filed under: daytoday, online, poetry, thinking | 4 Comments
Tags: every day, night, online, overthinking, poetry, purpose of blogs